


Entirely Yours

by STARSdidathing



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Asgardian Tony Stark, Enthusiastic Consent, Falling In Love, Feelings, Feels, Loki & Tony Stark Friendship, Loki (Marvel) Angst, Loki (Marvel) Feels, Loki (Marvel) Needs a Hug, Love Confessions, M/M, Magic, Magic Lessons, Magic-Users, Mutual Pining, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Parent Frigga (Marvel), Pining, Possibly Unrequited Love, Prince Loki (Marvel), Secret Crush, Teacher Loki (Marvel), Teacher-Student Relationship, True Love, Wordcount: 1.000-5.000
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-29
Updated: 2018-11-29
Packaged: 2019-09-02 02:50:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,833
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16778131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/STARSdidathing/pseuds/STARSdidathing
Summary: There were very few scholars who sought Loki’s tutelage and even fewer who could withstand the prince’s harsh and demanding learning regime. Anthony Howardson was the first to manage it.He was handsome, bright and a talented user of magic. He was not much younger than Loki, and he was everything Loki could have ever wanted - but as Tony's teacher, he was someone Loki could never have.





	Entirely Yours

**Author's Note:**

> **PLEASE NOTE:** While there is an age difference between them, I liken it to Anthony being around 22 and Loki being say 28-30. The age difference is there to show Tony is more youthful in his demeanor/him still needing a magic tutor. **There is nothing "underage" or "dubious" about this.**
> 
> I know people can see dubiousness when it comes to teacher/student, and I totally get that. I just wanted to put everyone's minds at ease :)
> 
> ~~Also, fuck coming up with a title. I swear to God. I'VE GONE THROUGH SO MANY OPTIONS AND THIS IS THE BEST I'VE GOT SO I'M JUST GOING TO ACCEPT AND DEAL WITH IT UGGGH~~

There were very few scholars who sought Loki’s tutelage and even fewer who could withstand the prince’s harsh and demanding learning regime. He was by far the most talented mage on Asgard, but he was mercurial, peculiar, ruthless and scathing.

Ten young mages had attempted to be taught by him over the last century only to fail his test of worth, unable to meet the prince’s exacting standards. They had left hissing derogatory comments about the mage and sighting the test as little more than a trick designed to fail all, no matter how worthy they might be.

But where each magic-user had failed in the past, Anthony walked through the doors and actually succeeded.

He used cunning, he used _tricks_. Anthony walked into the rooms of the God of Chaos, Mischief and Fire and played by Loki’s rules.

It was the first time in many centuries that Loki had been surprised by an Aesir, it was also the first time that he agreed to take on a pupil.

Anthony was a few hundred years younger than Loki; a young man still with the enthusiasm and vigour of youth. He was the son of a smith and a natural born user of seidr. He was cheerful and brash with an incredibly sharp intellect. He was also stubborn and determined. He teased his tutor with the same friendly enthusiasm that he gave to all others without any care of Loki's status as prince or mentor.

Anthony was, in many ways, a younger, kinder, more _accepted_ version of Loki - yet he was also his own person, full of fire, sarcasm and pride. He was blessed with good looks that he was growing into with every year that passed. He spent many hours of the day in Loki’s rooms as his student, and when he was not learning, he still lingered. He was somehow, despite the odds and Loki’s brusque nature, becoming Loki’s friend.

Anthony was also, ashamed as Loki was to admit it, becoming someone Loki... _wanted_.

He refused to allow the other Aesir to know. His interest and his affections were always hidden when he was in the other man’s presence, masked by sharp words and wry smirks. Anthony was a kind man, a _generous_ man as well as a highly regarded and coveted Aesir. The man had come to Loki asking for a tutor in magic. He needed someone to help him understand the seidr that coursed within him; he didn't need or want... anything else.

Anthony liked him and would spend many hours talking with Loki about magic, the realms, metalwork, and horses - whatever crossed their minds; but it was friendship, it was _tutelage_. Loki might have never met another mind like Anthony’s, but it did not matter. Loki might have never met someone who could so perfectly and _completely_ match him - someone he could see himself loving and devoting himself to for a lifetime - but it meant _nothing_ when Loki was little more to Anthony than his magic teacher.

But as the years passed them by; as the _decades_ passed, Loki was pulled ever more helplessly into a silent, one-sided devotion and infatuation for Anthony. This was a man who wielded magic without a care for what the Aesir thought of him; he was a man who openly praised Loki as a seidr user, tactician and prince. He brightened when Loki visited his family forge to purchase daggers and he would talk for hours in Loki’s rooms, letting the prince simply smile and watch as the younger man forgot that their lesson was over and that he had no reason to remain.

His mother was not oblivious and Frigga took to eyeing him worriedly. She was also the one to coax him to visit the elves and take new students, to shake off his feelings for Anthony and clear his mind. He had followed her advice in the early years, travelling to Alfheim and spending a number of months teaching bright students with beautiful bodies and intelligent minds. 

But he felt nothing for them; there was nothing but the faint interest and pride of a teacher for his students.

Anthony was... Anthony was _different_ , and that made it all the more damning. It made him know that, had he met Anthony in any other way, at any other time, he would be feeling just as much attraction, affection and want as he felt now.

It left Loki in a situation of repressed desire, quiet pining and the resigned awareness that he could say nothing, _do_ nothing and merely keep teaching his student; to watch as Anthony become an attractive man with wicked eyes, a smug smile and flirtatious winks. 

It left Loki to watch as the man took countless lovers over the decades, trying not to grit his teeth upon catching a whiff of perfume or seeing a red mark high above Anthony’s collar. He tried not to let his hands twitch with a need to touch and kiss and hold. He tried to present the image he always strived for; the cold, unfeeling, untouchable, unimpressed prince.

It was difficult to do when, even from the earliest days of Anthony’s teaching, the younger Aesir had never believed him.

“Loki!” The very man on the prince’s thoughts called, bursting into his chambers and sending a smile tugging at Loki’s lips while warmth erupted in his chest. 

Loki had been reading a tome at the writing desk in his magic rooms, a place that Anthony himself often sat when in his lessons. He glanced swiftly over his shoulder, his face quickly masked from fondness when the other Aesir entered the room. Anthony's facial hair was artfully styled around his mouth and had been present for the last five years. His brunet hair was ruffled and rumpled and his clothing was slightly stained from the forge he still worked at. There was also the taste of magic around him; the smith’s fire-like seidr as familiar to Loki as his own.

Anthony was grinning with delight and success. It only deepened as he clapped his hands together and burnt orange magic sparked behind his eyes. A moment later there were two more Anthony’s in the room, all three of them joyful. “I’ve got my clones working!”

Loki's heart flooded with happiness for the other man, mixed with pride, longing and love. He wanted to pull the other Aesir into his arms and congratulate him with a soft hug and a firm kiss. He wanted to share so much with Anthony but forced himself to push it all down.

He stood and praised gently. “Very good.” He sent out his own magic and brought two of his own clones to life. “Now let us see how they manage when interacting with mine.”

Anthony scrunched up his face. “What? Loki, that is _unkind_. Why can’t you start with something _easier?_ ”

Loki barely held back his smile. “If my teaching was easy, you would have never sought me as your tutor.”

The other Aesir sighed loudly but admitted, “ _True_.” He looked over at his clones ruefully. “Well, go on then, let Loki destroy you.”

It wasn’t the most motivating pep talk but his clones still moved towards Loki’s faithfully. 

And just as faithfully, Loki moved towards Anthony; like a magnet drawn to his other half, Loki slid into place as close as he possibly could and wished there was more between them than what they shared, all while knowing it could never come to pass.

* * *

“You have to stop this, Loki.” Loki tried not to tense or look at his mother, focusing instead on pouring himself some more tea, but she was not to be swayed. “This has gone on long enough and it is time that you fix it.”

Loki picked up his cup and took a sip, using the time to formulate his thoughts. “It is under control.”

“It is far from within your control,” yet despite her words, her voice was gentle and she brought a hand to his wrist. “You must stop being his teacher.”

Loki flinched, pain lancing through him at the thought and he closed his eyes. “If I stop, mother, I will no longer see him.”

“Would that be unwise?” She countered. “You are in love with him; you have been so for countless years.” She squeezed his arm, her tone sorrowful, “This will only hurt you the longer it goes on.”

Loki made himself look at her; seeing her care and concern as well as her worry for him. 

“I have loved no one in my life as I have loved him,” Loki admitted, far past the point of lies and illusions. He just sounded tired and he looked back at his tea. “Something is greater than nothing, is it not?”

He could see his mother shaking her head from the corner of his eye. “You will not be content nor happy, Loki. You cannot keep weathering this. It hurts to see you so heartbroken.”

Loki let out a rough laugh. “You make the mistake of believing that I would not look worse by losing the little I do have with him.”

“My son,” she insisted quietly in a tone that made Loki want to cringe. “Go to Alfheim, find a new student and do so before he questions why you continue to tutor him when he is no longer in need of your lessons.”

Loki closed his eyes and clenched the cup in his hands.

“This will not be solved by some new _student_ ,” he hissed. “This is not some desire for a pretty boy to follow my orders and look at me with awe.” He barked out a laugh. “Anthony is more likely to insult me than look at me with marvel. He is more likely to tell me to cut my own ingredients than blindly follow my whims. He... he...”

“Has not been your student for some time,” his mother acknowledged quietly. “He has been your friend.” She squeezed his arm again. “But if you continue to love him this way, Loki, he will only break your heart.”

Loki gritted his teeth and bowed his head, frustration and longing mixing with a bitter pain. It made something not unlike a snarl or a sob form in his throat. He didn’t give it voice, but he felt it burn his eyes and make him squeeze them shut.

“Go to Alfheim,” his mother encouraged again. “Clear your mind. If you still long for him on your return approach him as suitor, not as a teacher.”

Loki didn’t say anything nor did he agree to her words, but his mother’s point had been made and Loki felt the nausea of turmoil and indecision rush through his body.

He didn’t want to leave Anthony, he didn’t want to end their hours spent together discussing magic and standing close; but his mother was also right. He couldn’t go on like this; it would only hurt him in the end. 

Loki doubted he would ever fall out of love with the other man but... but perhaps if he was away long enough, he could grow accustomed to the yearning and the love within him, knowing that it would never be returned by Anthony.

Perhaps in time, Loki could learn to look at and speak with Anthony without wishing he could close the distance between them and become the other man’s lover.

* * *

Loki was a coward, but he simply couldn’t say the words to Anthony’s face.

He wrote a letter to the other Aesir to congratulate and graduate him in a single motion. He mentioned his pride in the other man’s skills with magic and praised him for his intellect. He told Anthony he was heading to Alfheim for a year as he’d been requested to teach there. He kept his letter blunt, to the point and carefully worded to keep his pain and love from leaking into his sentences.

He sealed the letter and sent it and two magic books to Anthony’s forge to be found by the other man in the morning.

Loki made himself leave after that, taking his packed bags and teleporting directly to the bifrost. It was late evening and he would arrive at noon on Alfheim. He did pause briefly too look back at Asgard, seeing not his mother, his rooms or the familiar halls of the castle; instead he saw Anthony’s bright smile and heard his entertained laugh. He imagined what the other man would look like peacefully sleeping in his bed.

He imagined what he might return to: Anthony married, with a babe in arms and the start of a family, a future that would have no place for Loki; his mercurial prince and former teacher.

Clenching his fist and his jaw, Loki turned away abruptly. He pushed the thoughts as far out of his mind as possible. His goal was to, if not forget Anthony, than to force his longing and affection to the side. 

He would overcome his desire for Anthony. He would move on from his love.

... And if that was not possible, he would merely learn to bury it so deeply that not even the marriage of Anthony to another would be able to break him.

* * *

When Loki returned a year and a half later it was with numerous invitations to visit the Elves whenever he wished. He had spent months as a visiting teacher, instructing hundreds of pupils as well as poring over magic texts in Alfheim’s vast libraries.

He had attended feasts, performed pranks, taken lovers and been revered by men, women and children alike.

He had also, much like he expected, _not_ fallen out of love with Anthony.

The man’s absence had been a constant ache for the first few months, but as time passed, he became more accustomed to it and was able to dismiss it from his mind. Yet, Anthony still entered his thoughts in quiet moments.

Loki would remember him winking or scowling over a magic text and Loki would automatically smile. Loki would think of Anthony just before he fell asleep at night; a dirt stained cheek that Loki would reach up and wipe away in a move he had never dared in life. 

He would also dream of imagined kisses, a fantasy of pulling the other man into his arms or into his bed, sometimes, if he was particularly maudlin, he would dream of a courtship or a house together only to wake up angry and upset in equal measure.

Sometimes he would simply read a particular passage in a magic tome, something that he knew the younger Aesir would love and he would pause, thinking of the other man, wondering what he was doing, if Anthony missed _him_ \- but Loki knew it was all for naught.

He knew he had little more than occasional glances or conversations with Anthony in his future, but Loki had spent a year and a half accepting his unrequited affections. He could handle the ache.

Loki managed the first few hours on Asgard well; he saw his mother who hugged him tightly and looked at him with eyes far too knowing and sympathetic. It had made him look away and focus on his brother who was recounting the many things that had occurred in his absence. 

There was to be a feast and Loki had excused himself to his rooms to prepare. He did not expect to walk down the hallway to his chambers only to freeze at finding the source of his heartache waiting for him.

Anthony was as handsome as always, hardly having changed and making Loki’s heart flare with such fierce affection and love that it almost knocked him over. When the other man saw him, when his eyes brightened and he _smiled_ , Loki felt his breath catch and his hands itch to touch the other man.

But he didn’t have to.

Anthony took fast steps towards him and before Loki could react the other man was throwing propriety, sense and formality out the window as he threw himself around Loki in a hug.

Loki sucked in a shocked breath but his arms instantly wrapped around Anthony’s waist, holding him tightly and closing his eyes. He had never held Anthony this way and he clung to him, breathing in and memorizing every second while refusing to let him go. He could feel the other man’s warmth and smell the forge on his clothes. There was also the sharp taste of Anthony’s magic infusing the air and making him feel like he was _home_.

Norns, Loki had missed Anthony so much. 

There was no greater welcome that Loki could have dreamed of then being hugged by this man.

And there was no greater way to unravel all of Loki’s attempts to forget Anthony and to protect his heart from a life without the younger man. Loki was as lost and in love as ever and he felt that knowledge deep in his core. Loki felt the resignation in his bones.

“I’m glad you’re back, Loki,” Anthony murmured, his breath brushing Loki’s neck and making the prince shiver and shut his eyes. 

It was foolish. Unbelievably, _stupidly_ foolish, but Loki felt far too willing to take a terrible risk when holding Anthony in his arms.

“Are you married?” Loki asked him.

“What?” Anthony’s confusion was palpable and he tried to move to better see Loki, but the prince held Anthony in place. 

“Do you have a child? A lover? Someone you hold dear?” Loki asked, his heart racing with terror and worry as he kept the other man tight against him. “Have you begun courting someone in my absence?”

There was a long moment of silence before Anthony told him, “I have not started courting another.”

Loki let out a heavy, relieved breath and he knew this was the moment that would change everything. He knew this would undo his year and a half away; it would go against all his stern, logical warnings about staying silent, hiding his feelings, and leaving Anthony alone.

Yet his mother’s words from so long ago surfaced in his mind, pushing him the final step forward: _If you still long for him on your return approach him as suitor, not as a teacher._

“I am not your teacher,” Loki whispered, his arms briefly tightening their hold as fear jolted through him. “But I want to be your suitor.”

He heard Anthony suck in a sharp breath, going tense against him and making Loki’s heart jolt painfully. It also had him turning his face, burying it in Anthony’s hair and breathing him in; if it had to be for the last and only time, he would take as much of it as he could, and damn the consequences.

“I want to be your suitor,” Loki whispered again, the words thick with emotion and breathed against Anthony’s hair.

There was desperation, need, longing and _love_ in his voice and Loki closed his eyes, holding this moment tight; the few seconds of hope, of imagining a better future than the one he was certain would befall him; a few moments of potential love, before the shattering of a broken heart.

When he felt Anthony’s arms unwind from around him, Loki’s heart and face fell. His shoulders slumped and he pressed one barely felt and trembling kiss to Anthony’s hair before he slackened his hold to allow Anthony to move from his embrace.

His eyes stung, but he refused to let the tears fall. His heart cracked, but he refused to let the pain show.

He should have known he would only ever be a teacher and friend to Anthony.

But when warm, calloused hands cupped his cheeks, Loki’s eyes snapped open to look at dark brown. Anthony gave him a smile that made Loki’s heart stutter before Anthony was tugging him down and brushing their mouths together in a chaste kiss. It made Loki’s hands dig into Anthony’s back with shock and need.

“I accept your courtship, Loki,” Anthony breathed against his lips, sounding relieved and happy as their lips brushed again. “I have been accepting it all along.”

The tension bled out of Loki leaving him slumping against Anthony, their foreheads pressed together.

“You were my student,” Loki whispered. “I couldn’t-”

“It complicated things, certainly,” Anthony agreed, stroking Loki’s cheeks. “But I am an adult. I was barely your student for the last decade.” He pressed his lips to Loki’s jaw. “No one could have accused you of wrongly seducing me, Loki. No one could have convinced me that I did not want you for _you._ ”

“They could have,” Loki whispered, but his hands had also come up, cupping Anthony’s face, hardly able to believe that he was finally doing so or that Anthony was confessing to him as well. He stroked his thumbs over Anthony’s cheeks. “They could have accused me and dismissed your feelings and I don’t think I would have cared. What is one new injury to my reputation? I would have borne it. Norns, Anthony, I would have borne so many things if I had but known that you...”

Anthony kissed him, silencing his painful words and making Loki’s eyes fall closed as he kissed the other man back, indulging in their first slow, deep kiss and the way it sent both desire and delight through his body; the way it was done with such affection, such _longing_ on both sides.

When their lips separated it was slowly and not without some regret. Loki just opened his eyes and looked down into Anthony’s handsome, smiling, _loving_ face. 

“Come to the feast with me,” he requested, startling Anthony. “Enter as my...” he swallowed, “my courted.”

Anthony smiled at him; no hesitation, no uncertainty. It was his bold, brash, unflinching and beloved smith. “I would love to.”

Loki just kissed him again; unable to stop himself as such delight overtook him that he could barely keep from laughing or dragging Anthony back into a hug.

Loki knew he would have borne the sneers and remarks if he had become Anthony’s lover when the man was still his student. He would also have ended his teaching relationship with Anthony to court him properly despite the distaste that would have come from those around him. 

Yet, Loki couldn’t help but be grateful that he had taken his mother’s advice and fled to Alfheim. It had meant a year and a half apart, it had meant pain and the certainty he would never have Anthony, but their lack of relationship and the separation from teacher and student meant that they could now court without suspicion and become a couple without disapproval.

They could be together without censure because as two adults they had fallen for one another despite their circumstances. It was with full consent and mutual infatuation--it was with Anthony smiling at him as if he couldn’t be happier as he burrowed further into Loki’s arms--that finally, _amazingly_ they were courting.

**Author's Note:**

> I have mixed feelings about this oneshot. I wrote it a while ago and while I liked it initially I'm in two minds now but can't think about what to change in it without an entire rewrite (which, ugh, _no_ ) so, eh, finally just going to post the damn thing.
> 
> BUT HERE HAVE SOME NOTES:  
>  **TONY'S FEELINGS AND STUFF:**  
>  So, I kinda feel that Tony always liked Loki and noticed that Loki _seemed_ to like him but Tony could never really be certain of it and never wanted to say anything and fuck up his time with Loki. 
> 
> When Loki goes away though, for longer than normal and ends their teaching relationship he _misses him so much_ and then when Loki is back he just, gods he just throws himself at Loki in a tight hug (because Tony is still a bit young here, you know? More prone to ourbursts of affection) and then when Loki confesses Tony is just like *happy, happy sigh* and "yes, it has always been _yes_ " and um yeah. That all make sense? XD
> 
>  **ADDITIONS:**  
>  I have a like/dislike thing with teacher/student relationships. But I loved the idea of Tony being this super keen magic student and the two of them just falling in love with _each other_. It's not Tony looking up at Loki as a teacher, it's not Loki looking down at Tony as a student. It's love and they're both worried at first that it is the "teacher" and "student" thing. But they've both had teachers and students and it's not the same this is... different. And then the "ohgodbuthewon'tlikeme" thing they both suffer through while quietly pining.
> 
> Tony, I imagine, was more blatant in his, ahem, late night fantasising about his teacher/prince/friend and also daydreaming of dates and dinners and romances while he was in the forge. He's younger, remember, he's all full of EMOTIONS and DREAMS. Loki is the more cynical "life's kicked me in the teeth too many times" older guy who tries to ignore his feelings and fails epically.
> 
> It could be an amazing longer story, I KNOW. But I really don't have the time to extend it. So we get this brief summary. If anyone else wants to pen more though? GO FOR IT. I'll just quietly sit here otherwise and imagine their fluffy little story XD


End file.
